“If I suggest to my female partner that we give some pleasure gel a whirl, will she think I’m saying she’s too dry and be offended by that? On the flipside, if I tell my male lover I’d like to try pleasure gel, might he think I’m implying that he doesn’t turn me on and isn’t making me wet?”
Enjoying plenty of fun foreplay and getting thoroughly ‘warmed up’ before sex will help ensure that a woman’s body is naturally as moist as can be. However, vaginal dryness can affect women of all ages, not just older people and it’s caused by all sorts of things such as drug treatment or cosmetic product, so there should be no shame in needing a quick slick of pleasure gel – it doesn’t reflect negatively on either partner.
Pleasure gel isn’t just a ‘problem solver’, either – even if dryness isn’t a concern for you and your lover, pleasure gels help make sex slicker, sleeker, and more sensual. Wetter sex is all-round better sex, since pleasure gels can help heighten every sensation.
If you’re nervous that your partner might interpret you mentioning pleasure gels as a criticism, or a suggestion that something is ‘wrong’ with his/her body or sexual technique, a little clever flattery can come in handy. To a guy, you could try saying something like, “Sex with you is amazing – but sometimes you feel so big/go so deep/last so long that it feels really intense for me. I thought we could try some pleasure gels to help ease things along.”
To a girl, your approach might be, “You turn me on so much – I can’t get enough of you! I want to really take my time tonight and indulge in a serious session with you, so I picked up some pleasure gel to help us both go the distance without me making you sore and raw! I want to make you feel amazing – plus, I figured it could be fun…”
"Conversation about pleasure gel with my partner out of the blue. I wouldn’t know where to start. How can I kick off that chat? What’s a good way to bring the topic up?”
Try having a sex education, you can have podcast playing on your laptop while you and your partner are cooking dinner together, say, or doing the washing up one evening. It’s just like having the radio on, except you can secretly ensure that the presenters will be discussing sexual matters – you could even search an episode that specifically lectures on pleasure gels. Use the broadcast to spark off a useful discussion between you and your lover. If they ask how you came across the programme, you can say it was a recommendation from a friend or that you read about it on a blog.
Other conversation starters you might use as springboards to handily segue into a chat about sex include saucy storylines in TV shows, films, adverts, magazine articles, or even a headline in the news.
Durex gels are stocked in many leading retailers, including most supermarkets and pharmacies, where they can be found next to the condoms in the health, beauty and toiletry aisles.
“My partner’s quite shy. Is there any way I can suggest that we try some pleasure gel without having to have a face-to-face chat that might make my partner feel like I’m putting him/her on the spot?”
Using the internet or your mobile can be a brilliant way to let your partner know you’d like to give gels a go. Sending a message or email about pleasure gels gives him/her some space and time to think about your proposal privately, so they don’t feel pressured or caught off guard, and it gives you the chance to carefully compose what you want to say as well. You could ping over a link to an article from the Durex website (Link to Reignite the passion will be inserted), and ask “Want to try this with me at the weekend? I like the look of X idea…” Just don’t be surprised if the conversation ends up turning into a kinky sext session!
If you decide to go ahead and order some treats from Durex.ie, they’ll be sent in discreet, plain packaging, so neither your postie nor your neighbours will know there’s something scintillatingly saucy inside.