“We’re so used to each other’s bodies after being together so long, seeing the other person naked isn’t really exciting anymore.”
You need a way to see your long-term lover through fresh eyes, and reinvigorate your appreciation of their body and what an honour it is to see, touch and share it.
Ask them to sit on a stool in the centre of the bedroom, naked, so you can walk around them and have complete 360-degree access to every inch of their skin. Place a blindfold over their eyes: not being able to see what you’re about to do will heighten their sense of anticipation - and reduce their self-consciousness as they won’t be able to watch you peering at them!
Next, slowly and reverently re-explore every little part of your lover: earlobes, toes, bellybutton… everywhere. Mark each area you examine with a tiny dab of Durex Real Feel or Tingling gel – almost as though you’re putting pins in a map to show the fascinating places you’ve rediscovered as you journey over their body.
Lightly blow on every dab of gel to intensify the sensation. Compliment the parts you think look, feel, smell or taste beautiful, to boost your partner’s confidence and ensure they feel adored.
Gradually, you’ll bring their entire body to life with zingy, glowing patches of sensation. They’ll feel incredibly turned on, and after looking closely at your lover again, you’ll probably have noticed many charming, gorgeous things about them that you may not have properly acknowledged in far too long.
“When I was younger, getting a hand job from a girl used to feel like I’d won the lottery… but now it feels like a consolation prize.”
Many people associate giving and receiving hand jobs as an activity that’s only for ‘beginners’: something you just do before you’re ready to have full penetrative sex, and then never really bother with ‘settling for’ again.
However, if you don’t have time for a marathon sex session and just want a quick, cheeky, lustful hit, a great hand job can feel deliciously naughty, with an exciting sense of urgency – so don’t ban HJs from your sexual repertoire too hastily.
Plus, incorporating pleasure gel can truly take manual stimulation from ‘meh’ to ‘mind blowing’! A smooth, slick touch feels miles more sensual and comfortable than a dry, dragging one.
Rub a 10 pence-sized blob of gel between your palms and fingers, then stroke it all over his penis, before gliding your hand repeatedly up and down in sleek, fluid motions. Suddenly, a hand job won’t feel amateur – it will feel amazing.
To really take him on a fresh sensory journey, try using the Durex Embrace pleasure gels. The pink tube has a silky, warming gel inside it, while the purple tube contains a tingling pleasure gel. Pick just one to start with, and spread some over your right palm prior to playing with him. This will already feel intense, but after a while, dispense a little of the other gel into your left palm, and switch hands. The two gels will react together on his shaft and head to give a whole new effect. This is anything but a dull pull!
“We used to be at it like rabbits any time and any place we could get away with it. These days, we’re so busy during the working week that sex is something we only ever manage at the end of a long day, usually when we’re both very tired.”
Many people’s modern lives are horrendously hectic. It can be hard to carve out time to dedicate to intimacy and sexy play, especially if you have a demanding job, children, or other pressures.
If you really can’t cut down on how much you have to do, see if you can add a sexual element to one of your tasks instead.
For example, dab a touch of Durex Play Tingling onto your nipples and private parts before you head off to do your weekly grocery shop. No-one but you will know what sensations are going on beneath your clothes, but you won’t be able to stop thinking about it – effectively turning a chore into part of foreplay. Choreplay!
Another way to do ‘convert and pervert’ what’s normally a mundane job is to slick yourself with one of the Durex Embrace Pleasure gels before you begin a commute on public transport. While travelling, listen to some sexy tunes through your headphones – perhaps choose an album you’d usually play as a soundtrack to make love to.
When you reach your destination, smooth on a dab of the second Embrace gel to keep the feelings rolling, developing and changing. When you finally get time with your lover, you’ll be ready to make the most of it.
“We’ve been together a long time, and know exactly what makes each other tick. This is a good thing, of course – but it also means we tend to repeat the same old tricks in bed, automatically doing what we know gets us off straight away, rather than bothering to experiment. How can we shake things up?”
It’s fantastic when you reach the stage where you and your partner understand each other so well that you know precisely where, how and when to touch them each other to get yourselves off.
However, lovemaking can start to feel mechanical, monotonous - even boring - if you resort to the same routines every time. After a while, those ‘magic moves’ can begin to lose their potent effect. Orgasms can even feel less satisfying and intense because the build up to climax becomes so predictable.
Using a stimulating pleasure gel to impart a tingling or warming effect is a simple way to ring the changes and add an element of difference without having to totally abandon the ‘classic’ positions and movements that work for you both.
For example, many women enjoy having their partners use their fingers during foreplay, and will tend to have a couple of ‘hot spots’ on their intimate areas that their lovers have learned to make a beeline for: the ’10 o’clock’ and ‘2 o’clock’ points at either side of the top of the clitoris are particularly sensitive for a lot of females. Try smoothing a little Durex Play Feel or Tingling gel in this ‘moan zone’ during your usual play.
For guys, try stroking Durex Play Feel gel onto his balls and perineum (the patch of skin between the scrotum and anus) to impart a new, sense-awakening feeling while you give him the superbly skilled oral you know he goes crazy for, or before intercourse in your most favoured position.
“Magazines are always telling us to try different complicated sexual positions, but my partner and I aren’t very flexible so we find that difficult. We like the ease and intimacy of straightforward missionary – but we do wish there was a way to make it spicier without pulling a muscle!”
The missionary position has an unfair reputation for being dull, but in fact, there’s tonnes that’s good about it.
It’s comfortable and natural, and suits all fitness and flexibility levels. It also helps the two of you feel connected, because you’re face to face and can look into each other’s eyes and share kisses, smiles and loving (or filthy!) words as you rock together. You can enjoy maximum skin-on-skin contact, plus because it’s easy to see your lover’s expressions and read their body language, you’re better able to tell whether they might need to go faster, slower, harder or softer.
If you’re on a mission to make missionary less ordinary, though, try using pleasure gel not only on your genitals, but also smoothing it up over your stomachs and chests, so that you slip-slide against each other super-smoothly as you move.
Give each other a cosy, relaxing, all-over body massage using Durex Play Feel or Durex Play Massage 2-in-1 Stimulating as part of your foreplay, or put on a scintillating striptease show for your partner, demanding that they stay still on the bed while you seductively peel off your clothes in front of them and slick up your skin with pleasure gel so it gleams enticingly.
Then, when you make love, the position may be an old classic, but the experience will be entirely fresh.